Christmas Alone
Once again I'm eating Christmas dinner by myself
It's dehydrated turkey that's been sitting on my shelf
I bought in 1998, use by 2012
And tinned cranberry sauce
A week ago I put up my synthetic Christmas tree
I got it from from a dumpster at the university
There's something bout a free tree that is just so Christmasy
It's only slightly bent
Very Merry Christmas to ya
If you don't like it, then screw ya
I'll drive a stake of holly through ya
A festive way to die
I spend all Christmas morning waiting for my phone to ring
At noon my buddy Jack arrives and I begin to drink
By four I'm lying on the floor forgetting everything
Jack Daniels, he's my boy
I'll spend all Christmas evening on my cozy chesterfield
With short trips to the kitchen for leftovers from my meal
And topping my Jack Daniels up with ice and lemon peel
Another Christmas passed
It's another crappy Christmas
One more day that feels endless
Until at last at midnight it's past
Is that the phone I hear?
It's dehydrated turkey that's been sitting on my shelf
I bought in 1998, use by 2012
And tinned cranberry sauce
A week ago I put up my synthetic Christmas tree
I got it from from a dumpster at the university
There's something bout a free tree that is just so Christmasy
It's only slightly bent
Very Merry Christmas to ya
If you don't like it, then screw ya
I'll drive a stake of holly through ya
A festive way to die
I spend all Christmas morning waiting for my phone to ring
At noon my buddy Jack arrives and I begin to drink
By four I'm lying on the floor forgetting everything
Jack Daniels, he's my boy
I'll spend all Christmas evening on my cozy chesterfield
With short trips to the kitchen for leftovers from my meal
And topping my Jack Daniels up with ice and lemon peel
Another Christmas passed
It's another crappy Christmas
One more day that feels endless
Until at last at midnight it's past
Is that the phone I hear?