Christmas Letter
Capo on 5
G
It's Christmas again
D
Time for me to send
Dm
My annual Christmas letter
Em
Near and far
G
I'm writing it so
D
I am able to show
Dm
Why we think we are better
Em
Than you are
G
Jimmy lost his two front teeth
D
A fight he did not win
Em
Janey got her period
C
Her first since she had twins
Em
One's fathered by the neighbor
Bm
The other's not so clear
Em
We don't know which of Janey's friends
C
Is green with pointy ears
Em - D-C-G
Good news, she's six months sober
Bad news, she's four months high
We think that's why the babies
Never seem to coo or cry
Cousin Ken's in prison
Doing five to ten
Scruffy's in pet therapy
See above re: cousin Ken
Dad has bought a new car
For the lady down the block
I think that in the new year
We are going to have to talk
Grandma's getting married
To some guy she met online
I know she's only kidding
When she says he's twenty nine
She never quite recovered
From grandpa running off
With two geriatric strippers
And a lapsed man of the cloth
Let's hope this fellow's nice to her
I hope he treats her right
I'd hate to see her break a hip
While on her wedding night
And me, I'm still a stay home mom
A warm and loving wife
I swear to god they're killing me
With all this guff and strife
Some days I want to help them
But I cannot find my knife
And here's wishing you a Merry Christmas
G
It's Christmas again
D
Time for me to send
Dm
My annual Christmas letter
Em
Near and far
G
I'm writing it so
D
I am able to show
Dm
Why we think we are better
Em
Than you are
G
Jimmy lost his two front teeth
D
A fight he did not win
Em
Janey got her period
C
Her first since she had twins
Em
One's fathered by the neighbor
Bm
The other's not so clear
Em
We don't know which of Janey's friends
C
Is green with pointy ears
Em - D-C-G
Good news, she's six months sober
Bad news, she's four months high
We think that's why the babies
Never seem to coo or cry
Cousin Ken's in prison
Doing five to ten
Scruffy's in pet therapy
See above re: cousin Ken
Dad has bought a new car
For the lady down the block
I think that in the new year
We are going to have to talk
Grandma's getting married
To some guy she met online
I know she's only kidding
When she says he's twenty nine
She never quite recovered
From grandpa running off
With two geriatric strippers
And a lapsed man of the cloth
Let's hope this fellow's nice to her
I hope he treats her right
I'd hate to see her break a hip
While on her wedding night
And me, I'm still a stay home mom
A warm and loving wife
I swear to god they're killing me
With all this guff and strife
Some days I want to help them
But I cannot find my knife
And here's wishing you a Merry Christmas