Handmade Christmas
Knit me a fine Christmas sweater
Make it a size two or ten
I'll wear it through Christmas dinner
Then never see it again
Give me a tin of spice cookies
Baked just before Halloween
They bounce 3 feet high when I drop them
And glow with a nice shade of green
Let's not forget the most favourite
Christmas treat one can bake
Why would you waste such good brandy?
On that god awful leaden fruit cake
Thanks for the scarf and the mittens
Festooned with cavorting elves
I have not worn such garments
Since I was eleven or twelve
A hand crocheted antimacassar
No, really, I'm sure that it is
Or maybe it's only a doily
In any case, thanks, uh, I guess
These napkin rings are so lovely
Made from some old cardboard rolls
Wrapped in bright yarn and gold tinsel
And fake poinsettia bows
The fudge that you made looks delicious
I wish that I could have one more taste
But I noticed you made it with walnuts
When the blotches broke out on my face
I love all your hand crafted presents
But please do not make any more
Just take out your wallet you cheapskate
And buy me something from a store
Make it a size two or ten
I'll wear it through Christmas dinner
Then never see it again
Give me a tin of spice cookies
Baked just before Halloween
They bounce 3 feet high when I drop them
And glow with a nice shade of green
Let's not forget the most favourite
Christmas treat one can bake
Why would you waste such good brandy?
On that god awful leaden fruit cake
Thanks for the scarf and the mittens
Festooned with cavorting elves
I have not worn such garments
Since I was eleven or twelve
A hand crocheted antimacassar
No, really, I'm sure that it is
Or maybe it's only a doily
In any case, thanks, uh, I guess
These napkin rings are so lovely
Made from some old cardboard rolls
Wrapped in bright yarn and gold tinsel
And fake poinsettia bows
The fudge that you made looks delicious
I wish that I could have one more taste
But I noticed you made it with walnuts
When the blotches broke out on my face
I love all your hand crafted presents
But please do not make any more
Just take out your wallet you cheapskate
And buy me something from a store