Santa's Beard
C F G
Come gather 'round children and lend me an ear
C F G
I've the most wondrous tale that you'll ever hear
Dm Am
Of a day in December, don't ask me the year
F G
The day I became Santa's beard
C F G
It was early December, the air smelled of snow
C F G
When this stout bellied fellow approached me to go
Dm Am
To dinner with him and then to a show
F G
The day I became Santa's beard
Dm Am
I'll admit I was shocked, well perhaps a bit flattered
Dm Am
I don't normally date men, not that it mattered
Dm Am
As my mistaken take on it quickly was shattered
F G
The day I became Santa's beard
It seems that St Nicholas worked out a plan
To have Mrs Claus think he was friends with a man
While he secretly stepped out with a lovely young fan
The day I became Santa's beard
Now, I know what you're thinking, why would a guy
In the case we're discussing, that guy would be I
Want to help out another get some on the sly
The day I became Santa's beard
I'm the first to admit, the idea made me queasy
At first blush the whole concept seems sort of sleazy
But I'll tell you with practice it comes to me easy
The day I became Santa's beard
So, now every Wednesday, promptly at eight
I saunter by Santa's house, down by the gate
And follow discretely behind he and his date
The day I became Santa's beard
While three go to dinner, just one sees the show
While Santa sneaks off with his girlfriend in tow
Two hours later they come back, their faces aglow
The day I became Santa's beard
Some think this arrangement is creepy and weird
But it turned out much better than I early had feared
And every year on the “Nice” list my name has appeared.
The day I became Santa's beard
I will wake Christmas morn to see what he has brought
A new Lamborghini, a Porsche, a yacht?
Because thanks to me, Santa's never been caught
The day I became Santa's beard