The Gift of Love
Last Christmas found me wandering the malls
Searching stores and kiosks, booths and stalls
Pawing through large, mediums and smalls
To find the perfect gifts for one and all
I'm tired of trudging through snow and slush and ice
I'm tired of surly clerks who are not nice
I'm tired of trying to find a better price
So this Christmas I'll be giving pubic lice
So to Jenny, Rose, Bianca, Jane and Janice
Connie, Betty, Marianne and even Eunice
Since this year you're on my list of those who're nice
Your stockings will be stuffed with pubic lice
And by Christmas eve, your crotch you will be scratching
Christmas morning baby lice will all be hatching
It's the gift that keeps on giving and it's catching
You never will forget the pubic lice
It's said Christmas eve no creature will be stirring
But the crabs around your groin will be enduring
For it's said that of this kind there is no curing
You've got drug resistant Christmas pubic lice
Searching stores and kiosks, booths and stalls
Pawing through large, mediums and smalls
To find the perfect gifts for one and all
I'm tired of trudging through snow and slush and ice
I'm tired of surly clerks who are not nice
I'm tired of trying to find a better price
So this Christmas I'll be giving pubic lice
So to Jenny, Rose, Bianca, Jane and Janice
Connie, Betty, Marianne and even Eunice
Since this year you're on my list of those who're nice
Your stockings will be stuffed with pubic lice
And by Christmas eve, your crotch you will be scratching
Christmas morning baby lice will all be hatching
It's the gift that keeps on giving and it's catching
You never will forget the pubic lice
It's said Christmas eve no creature will be stirring
But the crabs around your groin will be enduring
For it's said that of this kind there is no curing
You've got drug resistant Christmas pubic lice